Unexpected Surprise

So in the last blog I mentioned how I had a daughter and how nothing or no one came before her! She is my world, my heart, my all in all, the air I breathe and all the love I need! She's perfect for me! But...I didn't always feel this way. I never wanted kids, hell I barely like kids. Kiara is not kid friendly. Lol. If someone would have told me I would be a mom, I would have laughed dead in their face. Of course as a woman, I always dreamed of getting married, traveling, the horse and carriage, the house and white picket fence, etc; however, I never saw a child in any of that.   

But, then I met this guy in 2011, we would flirt. That was my "husband/baby daddy," as he would call himself. We were cool, great friends. He was so supportive and encouraging. Always treated me respectfully. I would stay over and he wouldn't come on to me or try anything and for that I appreciated him more. We lost contact and then in 2013, I reached out and gave him my new number. Of course we hit it off as if no time had passed between us. After a few encounters and conversations, one thing led to another and then it just happened. He was really concerned about how I felt afterwards and even apologized thinking he came on too strong. But, like I told him I didn't do anything that I didn't want to do and I was grown. So, we agreed that from that night on we would use protection and I would get on birth control, so next time we would be prepared. He didn't want another kid and I didn't want any period. We were both fresh out of relationships and nothing was serious between us, so we definitely didn't need a baby. 

Well...next time never came. I was pregnant from the very first encounter. And man when I found out, I cried like my soul had been snatched from inside of me. And then I cried everyday after that until she was born. I didn't want a kid! I was still living at home, I hated my job, I was trying to finish college and I did NOT want to be a baby mom. I couldn't take care of a baby, hell I could barely take care of me. I considered abortion, even made an appointment twice but me being the type of person that I am, I couldn't do it. My back and forth with the decision to keep or abort my baby pushed him away and for awhile he became distant. He told me from the beginning that whatever decision I made he had my back but I was being selfish.  

Anyway, after I decided to keep her, he came around. But, trust it wasn't all great. I felt things with us could have been differently during my pregnancy but that's neither here nor there.
But, we had to face reality that we were having a baby. I wasn't ready but I figured I never would be ready. So, like adults we sucked it up and dealt with our
Unexpected Surprise...

A night of passion
Because of a sexual attraction
That leads to love making with no protection
Leaving the female with an unwanted belly
Confusion
Surprise
The results couldn't be mine
This was not what they intended
It was just two friends who decided to be intimate
Nothing more than a night well spent
No dates, no ring, no flings in between
Sex came easy, hell we are no longer sixteen
But the consequences of our actions were unforeseen
Until the time came & a baby intervened
The results were very unexpected
Both mother and father objected
She can't be pregnant, her cycle just hasn't come yet
If this is true
What do we do
Neither of us want a baby & now he has two
You didn't sign up to be a mother
You and him don't even want each other
Let along a child with one another
How did y'all end up in this situation
Do you keep or abort the creation
Mad because you participated in an act that lead to procreation
& Now the two of you have a baby
You learn how to deal
This is for real
No need for the you to keep crying tears
Get over your fears
It has happened and there's nothing you can do
Because in a few months it's no longer about you
Until you heard your baby heartbeat
You still felt slight defeat
But now you're anxious for you two to meet
Because God blessed you with this offspring
Thank Him, let it go and move on
Because sooner than later you'll bring your most precious gift from God home.

©2016. Kiara Giles. All Rights Reserved