FREE

1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

FREE

I just want to be free

Free from all the heartache and pain,

I don't want to be angry and bitter

I just want to authentically smile again.


I just want to be free 

Free from all the past oppression, 

I don't want to be mad all the time

I've realized every situation doesn't need a reaction.


I just want to be free 

Free from the hold hostility has over me,

I don't want to continue to be mean 

I just want to live my life in peace.


I just want to be free

I don't always mean to be rude,

I don't want to end up old and lonely

I just want to work on my attitude.


I just want to be free 

I promise I really do mean well,

I have a heart of gold 

But somewhere I fell under Satan's wrath spell.


I just want to be free 

I have to get well for my daughter, 

I don't want her to see the fury side of me 

She needs to remember all the amazingly pleasing things I've taught her.


I just want to be free 

I know I'm a good person and a great friend,

I'm don't want people to be afraid to be around me 

I'm choosing to put the wicked side of my personality to an end.


I just want to be free 

I don't like pushing those that love me away,

I'm tired on holding on to those that hurt me

I just need to take time to pray.


I just want to be free 

Lord, I ask that you help me,

Give me the things I need 

That'll allow me to break free,

Free from my unpleasant temper 

So me and those around me can be genuinely happy.

I just want to be free!

At some point in life you have to grow up. Maturity doesn't always come with age. But, as I've gotten older, I have learned that maturity comes with knowing, admitting and accepting your flaws. Maturity comes with knowing when it's okay to be quiet (every situation does not need a response). Maturity comes with knowing how to react to certain actions, meaning every action doesn't calls for a reaction out of you. See, I'm choosing to work on me. It is funny that everyone can tend to point out everyone else flaws and problems but their own. Me personally, I have my own issues. No time to worry about anyone else's. Most times the people with the least room to talk always has the most to say. But, I say that change starts with you. The only person that I am in competition with or trying to be better than is the one that is looking back at me when I look in the mirror. When I decided that I wanted to be genuinely happy, I decided to just let it all go. I know that my attitude is not the best and I am not always the nicest person, but I am owning it and I am willing to change it. There are things and people that has hurt me and I was holding on to that anger, still asking why and what if, but I forgive them and I am moving on. I am choosing to use my bitter to make myself better. The past will no longer hinder me. I'm making a pledge to change. At some point in life some things are no longer cute and other things don't really even matter anymore. At some point in life you have to grow up!

Job 17:9,"The righteous shall move onward and forward; those with pure hearts shall become stronger and stronger."

©2016. Kiara Giles. All Rights Reserved.

Co-Parents

1 Peter 4:8, "Above everything, love one another earnestly, because love covers over many sins."

Co-Parents

Life as a mom is not the way I imagined it would be,

I always wanted to come home to a family.

But regardless of the situation I love my daughter just the same,

And the friendship we have as co-parents still remain.

At the end of the the day our main focus is her,

No matter what we have going on personally

As parents, the both of us are always there.

Our daughter has two loving parents in her life,

Although we're in two different households she still hears both of our voices every night.

At the end of the day our main objective is always to do what's in the best interest for the child,

We have to put our differences aside

And do what's right because no disagreement should go un-reconciled.

We ensure that she never sees anything between us that's not pleasing,

All she knows is that mommy and daddy are happy and that she's the reason.

As friends we're mature enough to never bash the other parent to the kid,

Kids should never have to choose sides and be put in grown folks business.

We share responsibility of childcare, doctor appointments, food, clothes and the list goes on,

I'm lucky to share a child with a man who knows that no woman should have to do it alone.

No one wakes up and decides that they want to be just a baby mom or dad,

But life happens and it's best to just take the good with the bad.

Yea we had a child outside of marriage and this is not what I planned when I was pregnant,

But we made the best of the situation and we've became great  co-parents.

So many times, parents are bitter because the relationship didn't work out between the two of them and they tend to take that anger and frustration out on the child. I am here to tell you today that no matter the situation you must always remain cordial for the child. And if you have a co-parent that can't do that then you just need to let it go. If one parent doesn't care then why waste your time caring. No one should spend too must time and energy trying to make a parent do what they were supposed to be doing. Use that energy to love your child, to spend time with your child and to show your child that they do have one parent that is available, active and involved. No we are not perfect and I myself didn't sign up to be a "baby mom" but although I'm single and I know that I am not a single parent. Trust I've cried and I've tried, just as any other woman, I wanted it to work. I vowed to never have kids unless I was married and even now I am not having anymore without a ring. However, I am happy that knowing my child has two loving parents. I've learn to put her needs and wants before mine. Parents always think of the child. If I can move on and be happy and be the best of friends with my co-parent then so can you. But if you can't, just let it go. Don't let your child see you bitter. It's easier said than done, trust I know. At the end of the day just continue to do what's best for you and do what is best for your child. I know every situation is not ideal like mine, but you just have to take it for what it is, it's only so many times that you can try. Some people are just not cut out to be parents. So, be thankful for those grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. that are around to help, love and support you. Keep being the best parent that you can be. Keep your head up and remember do what you can and let God do what you can't.

Love Always,
A Co-Parent

©2016. Kiara Giles. All Rights Reserved

Motherhood

Motherhood

Being a mother I have experienced some of the best and worse days of my life, sometimes I feel like I've done everything wrong then other times I think that I'm doing everything right, battling early mornings and late nights, wishing I could escape the responsibility and take flight, to a far away place out of sight.
Often times I feel like I've failed myself and my kid, trying to figure out how to hold my frustration in, wondering why she won't stop crying and if it's something that I did, trying to deal as my patience wear thin.
I love the days that we spend time, our mother-daughter dates, ice cream socials and reading books, I'm a sucker for her gentle hugs, sweet kisses, and innocent looks. She's made me laugh and she's made me cry, I've been irritated by her behavior and enlightened by her smile like a butterfly.
From my pregnancy until now, being a mother has brought me much joy and much pain, some times I feel like I'm going to go insane.
Many times she'll cry and hell I'll cry too, trying to figure out what's wrong isn't easy and I don't always know what to do, I'll admit that some things about parenting I haven't the slightest clue.
Thinking that I didn't sign up for this, the crying and the falling out y'all could've missed me with, all it does it cause pain to my frontalis.
But then I think about all the reasons I love being a mom, the times that makes me happy, like baking, shopping and putting on lip balm, when she tells me how much she loves me and that I'm the bomb, when she grabs me palm to palm and says she feels safe in my arms.
See if I had to do some of the worse days all over again, I would just to get the moments that I hold her in my hands.
I could do without the bad but those moments help me appreciate the good, I love all the ups and downs, the sicknesses, and the tantrums that comes along with motherhood, I never thought I could be a mother but the last two years has shown me that I could, and if I had to listen to the crying everyday just to continue being her mommy then I would, and if being a mom means that I could experience some of the best days of my life and indescribable feelings and unconditional love then I think I found my livelihood.

If you read this and judged me, then one of us aren't being honest! And I believe I just told my truth. How I feel makes me human, it makes me a parent. If you're a parent I'm sure you've been here. Parenting is not always easy and I know how frustrating it can get. But, as parents we have to take the good with the bad, right?  Don't feel bad for wanting or needing mommy moments or daddy days ALONE! We deserve them, for all the late night, early mornings, being the teacher, the doctor, the nurse, the friend, and the list goes on.

Dear Lord,
As parents we come to you as humble as we know how. I ask on behalf of myself and all of the  parents reading this that you shower us with patience. Lord, mold us and shape us into the parents that you need and want us to be. Bless our households. Continue to watch over and protect our children from all hurt, harm and pain. We don't know why you chose us to be parents but we're glad that you did. Thank you for your continuous grace and mercy. I ask that you give us the strength needed to continue to juggle all the duties that comes along with parenthood.
In Jesus name,
Amen!

©2016. Kiara Giles. All Rights Reserved.