Motherhood

Motherhood

Being a mother I have experienced some of the best and worse days of my life, sometimes I feel like I've done everything wrong then other times I think that I'm doing everything right, battling early mornings and late nights, wishing I could escape the responsibility and take flight, to a far away place out of sight.
Often times I feel like I've failed myself and my kid, trying to figure out how to hold my frustration in, wondering why she won't stop crying and if it's something that I did, trying to deal as my patience wear thin.
I love the days that we spend time, our mother-daughter dates, ice cream socials and reading books, I'm a sucker for her gentle hugs, sweet kisses, and innocent looks. She's made me laugh and she's made me cry, I've been irritated by her behavior and enlightened by her smile like a butterfly.
From my pregnancy until now, being a mother has brought me much joy and much pain, some times I feel like I'm going to go insane.
Many times she'll cry and hell I'll cry too, trying to figure out what's wrong isn't easy and I don't always know what to do, I'll admit that some things about parenting I haven't the slightest clue.
Thinking that I didn't sign up for this, the crying and the falling out y'all could've missed me with, all it does it cause pain to my frontalis.
But then I think about all the reasons I love being a mom, the times that makes me happy, like baking, shopping and putting on lip balm, when she tells me how much she loves me and that I'm the bomb, when she grabs me palm to palm and says she feels safe in my arms.
See if I had to do some of the worse days all over again, I would just to get the moments that I hold her in my hands.
I could do without the bad but those moments help me appreciate the good, I love all the ups and downs, the sicknesses, and the tantrums that comes along with motherhood, I never thought I could be a mother but the last two years has shown me that I could, and if I had to listen to the crying everyday just to continue being her mommy then I would, and if being a mom means that I could experience some of the best days of my life and indescribable feelings and unconditional love then I think I found my livelihood.

If you read this and judged me, then one of us aren't being honest! And I believe I just told my truth. How I feel makes me human, it makes me a parent. If you're a parent I'm sure you've been here. Parenting is not always easy and I know how frustrating it can get. But, as parents we have to take the good with the bad, right?  Don't feel bad for wanting or needing mommy moments or daddy days ALONE! We deserve them, for all the late night, early mornings, being the teacher, the doctor, the nurse, the friend, and the list goes on.

Dear Lord,
As parents we come to you as humble as we know how. I ask on behalf of myself and all of the  parents reading this that you shower us with patience. Lord, mold us and shape us into the parents that you need and want us to be. Bless our households. Continue to watch over and protect our children from all hurt, harm and pain. We don't know why you chose us to be parents but we're glad that you did. Thank you for your continuous grace and mercy. I ask that you give us the strength needed to continue to juggle all the duties that comes along with parenthood.
In Jesus name,
Amen!

©2016. Kiara Giles. All Rights Reserved.